Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
