420 ftw
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
