So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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