I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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