its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
