Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
