I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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