This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Two words: nipple clamps
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