Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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