her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
