Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
