Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
