you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
