Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
