evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
