Apparently you make a good broom.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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