my vag is so smooth its legendary
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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