dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
