onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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