Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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