His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
