you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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