im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
being pregnant is like rehab
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
