wrigley field is MILF paradise
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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