Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
