Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize