Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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