nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize