Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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