I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
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i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
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The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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