everyone is single if you try hard enough
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
