How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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