I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
