Plan B is the new Plan A
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize