return my video game
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
