i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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