I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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