Even water is tasting like jack daniels
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
