But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
