If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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