low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
