The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I need to calm my uterus...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
