Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
