we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
