that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
