i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
