I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
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she looked like the before picture.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
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I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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