o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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