She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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