cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Randomize
