Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
