its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
